What women find attractive

The idea for this article was spawned in a discussion on FB with a guy who, I’m pretty sure, was just trying to troll me. Still, he did help me list once more what I (and quite a few other women, I guess) find attractive in a man.

The picture does serve a purpose, yes. The discussion was about why women should prefer the guy on the left to the guy on the right. For those of you not interested in movies/action movies/comic movies: the guy on the left is Chris Hemsworth playing Marvel’s Thor and the guy on the right is Tom Hiddleston playing Marvel’s Loki. The still was taken from the first “Thor” movie.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t think Mr. Hemsworth is ugly and I’m sure he’s a nice guy, too, but what guys don’t seem to get is that ‘muscled and blonde’ doesn’t suffice to entice all women. Neither does being a hero.

The guy I argued with (I do enjoy arguing) tried to show Mr. Hemsworth’s good sides by listing Mr. Hiddleston’s bad sides: Loki being scrawny and asymmetrical. First of all, when looking at a front centre picture of Tom Hiddleston’s face, I don’t really spot any visible asymmetry - although I will admit no person is 100% symmetrical. What of being scrawny, then? What the guy doesn’t seem to get about women looking at men is that many of us prefer the ‘runner’s build’ (like Mr. Hiddleston’s) to the more muscled athlete’s build of Mr. Hemsworth (especially the look of him in “Thor: The Dark World” … seriously, what are they serving in Asgard? Only steroids?). I get how and why they look different, since Thor is supposed to be much more of a warrior than Loki (who relies more on magic/intelligence).

Let’s list what I (and probably quite some others) tend to notice about guys at first.

• Eyes. Mr. Hemsworth has very beautiful blue eyes, no doubt, but those of Mr. Hiddleston are a very charming and enchanting green.
• Smile. Both men have a very charming smile, but there’s just a very nice hint of boyish, mischievous charms in Mr. Hiddleston’s. Nice teeth are an addition to that category, but those usually are even and white with young actors.
• Hands. I haven’t paid that much attention to Mr. Hemsworth’s hands so far, but Mr. Hiddleston has long, sensitive fingers - a turn on not just for me.
• Voice. It might surprise men, but women really do have a thing for guys with a strong, deep voice. Both gentlemen have a very nice voice, but Mr. Hiddleston’s catches me a bit more.

As you can see, build doesn’t feature in that first list, although, to a certain degree, height does. Women like men who are taller than them. Since both Mr. Hemsworth and Mr. Hiddleston are quite tall (1,93 m and 1,87 m respectively), there’s no clear winner there, they’re both definitely taller than the average woman (or my own meagre 1,68 m).

Now to the question why quite some women prefer villains to heroes. Some might say it’s a proof of growing up - no longer looking for your Prince Charming. This is my personal theory, there’s no scientific or other proof it’s right.

Let’s be honest, movies, comics, or other stories are infused with our morals. And our morals don’t allow the evil to win. Therefore, as unrealistic as it might seem, the hero will, in the end, always vanquish the villain. However, in reality, things never go that smoothly. Women know that.

In reality, villains would probably win in at least 8 out of 10 cases. They are better organized, they have minions, they have a lot of money, they have supreme technology, they have no qualms about using any means at their disposal, they are utterly ruthless. If you look at news from everywhere, you will realize that is what usually wins you whatever you’re going for.

Yes, their ruthlessness doesn’t really make them good partners (but all alphas are bad partners long-term, that includes quite some heroes as well), but they have the means to support a lover and their children - and to keep them protected, if they consider it in their best interest.

Villains know what they want and they take it. That’s another point. There’s not much of a ‘will they/won’t they’ with villains. If they want, they will. While it might seem charming that an attractive hero is unsure about breaching the topic of sympathy and love to a woman who, obviously, likes him very much, it does grow old quickly. As love interest of a hero, you’re either going for a long (years or even decades in comics is quite possible) waiting time or you end up dead after he has declared his love and his arch-nemesis decides to kill you to strike at the hero.

Since heroes adhere to a moral codex which frowns upon killing the innocent (and if you’re a villain’s love interest, but not villainous yourself, you are an innocent for them), you don’t have to worry about a hero to kill you, because your boyfriend happens to be a villain.

The bad boy whom women want to help is a romantic idea, too. Yes, in reality it’s next to impossible to change someone, so if you go for a relationship, don’t do so thinking you can change the parts of a person you don’t like. But in a story, it’s possible.

Another reason to like Loki, despite him being a villain (in “Thor” and “The Avengers,” he’s more of an anti-hero in “Thor: The Dark World”), is how many facets the writers have worked into him. Villains tend to be more complicated and complex than heroes. There’s not much to being a hero, to doing the right thing, but these days, becoming a villain needs to be justified.

Loki is the younger brother, the adopted one, the one in the shadows, the one who has been lied to all his life. He snaps and slashes back. He tries to take what he considers his right (become king of a realm, if not Asgard, then Midgard/Earth). Women can understand that and identify with it. He doesn’t do evil, because it’s evil (no villain these days does). He doesn’t just do it for the money and the power. He has a definite deficit and thinks ruling Earth will fill it. It won’t, we know that, but it makes him someone to relate to.

Loki has heaps of charm, his silver tongue (and in Norse mythology also an insatiable appetite for sex, but that’s not in Marvel’s universe), his intelligence. He’s a guy you can talk to. A guy who would flatter you in interesting ways, if he wants something from you (be it information, assistance - or plain sex).

That’s why there’s a blog like Loki’s Dirty Whispers (to be fair, there’s also one for Thor). Loki clearly would strive to be the dominant in a relationship, but that’s not necessarily bad. There’s a clear difference between being dominant and being abusive (take heed, Mr. Grey). A relationship with Loki probably would be short, but it would also be rather interesting. Certainly not boring.

So, what do women find attractive in a guy? Eyes, mouth, teeth, hands, voice, height first and foremost. Then they’ll look for the character more than the body - honestly. My mum always wanted a tall, blond guy, she ended up with a short, dark-haired one. Yet, my parents have been happily married for 50 years. Okay, okay, women also look at men’s asses. Enough said.

Loki - Agent of Asgard

It’s been a while since I’ve really been reading comics (well, apart from the free online ones, I read quite some of those regularly). Much longer since the last superhero comics I’ve read (I think that was Young Justice, for the short time the series ran in Germany). But, well, I’ve always liked Loki (especially since Avengers and Thor) and I couldn’t really withstand the new series by Marvel he stars in.

Getting the first issue online was a great thing, since I’m currently miles from the next comic store. I would prefer having the comic book in my hands, but online whenever I want to is good as well.

I knew the comic was coming, since I’d seen previews on various sites, but I only really realized I wanted it, when it really came out. I saw a few pages that had been posted on Facebook. I liked what I saw. I liked the comic, once I read it. I laughed out loud at this panel, which comes at the end of the two pages Loki needs to get the Avengers to fight each other, so he’s free to complete his mission.

Loki will, of course, never be a perfect, shining hero. That’s not in his nature, not in his current incarnation, not in the past ones, not in the future ones. But he makes a very good secret agent or, as Marvel puts it in the summary for the series, Asgardia’s one-man secret service.

He wants to break free from the expectations. That’s what he died for, to bury the villain Loki and get a new chance. He wants to be utterly himself, not slipping back into the role the universe wants him back in. By serving the All-Mother (unlike Odin All-Father, who is dead, the All-Mother is a triumvirate of three goddesses who rule the new Asgardia), he can purge his records in Asgard, removing the old legends, the old facts. New legends for old - a chance to have a new life without the burden of the past. A way out of the box, the expectations of the others, is worth working hard for.

However, with the end of the first issue, I do have the feeling getting away from his old self will be a good deal more difficult than he thought.

I like the style of the comic and the humour and will follow it for a while (not sure how long). If you like a devious main character, Agent of Asgard is a good one for you.

Just a little something...

Avengers

Yesterday I finally got around to watch the Avengers movie (yup, late, I know). And, yes, I admit Loki was a main reason for me watching the movie (not just because Tom Hiddleston is a cutie, but also because Loki makes a damn interesting villain). However, I was positively surprised and think I’ve definitely found a keeper for my DVD collection.

Technically, it started with Thor, which was on TV this Sunday (currently also known as the day before yesterday). As there wasn’t anything interesting on TV apart from it, I decided to give Thor a chance, arguing with myself that, even if the story were bad (which is wasn’t), I’d at least get to see a few good-looking guys. I have to admit that the trio of Odin (Anthony Hopkins), Thor (Chris Hemsworth), and Loki (Tom Hiddleston) makes for very good family dynamics. And there is this to keep in mind, too:

But back to Avengers. Joss Whedon and the script writers have done an amazing job with the story, which I greatly appreciate. I like action sequences (I like them, perhaps, even more than quite some women), but I don’t want a movie which is just made up of them. I have to add here that I haven’t seen the other Marvel movies (apart from the X-Men ones and the Spiderman ones … the first series I enjoy, the second annoys me). Ironman, Hulk, Captain America, Hawkeye, and Black Widow, therefore, aren’t exactly that familiar for me (well, I know the 80s version of the Hulk, that is). Neither do I know a lot about S.H.I.E.L.D. or Nick Fury. I could look them up, but my Marvel Encyclopaedia is buried beneath heaps of other books.

They bring the group together in this movie, which means a lot of play with the dynamics, which I enjoy a lot. Seeing the different characters with their different world views act and react is a lot of fun. The action sequences fuse with that, allowing each fight to be more than just a spectacle (they are spectacular, no mistake about that).

My eyes, though, usually are more on the villain than on the heroes, as the villain has to be a lot more interesting. Among the heroes, we have the usual mixture, basically. People who are good by nature (Captain America, Thor), people who want to atone for past mistakes (Black Widow, Hawkeye, Bruce Banner … though he atones for Hulk’s mistakes), people who are in it for fame (Ironman). And a hero who isn’t a hero, strictly speaking (goes both for Nick Fury and for Phil, I guess) So let’s start the unavoidable litany about the villain, shall we? Here we go, take a deep breath.

I just love Loki! There, now it’s out. It’s not just the actor, even though his way of portraying Loki has quite some influence on it. The character of a villain these days has to have depth, otherwise the whole ‘I will rule the world’ business (the standard goal of every villain) will be boring. And Loki is a prime example of a motif-driven villain. At the base of his plans is a feeling. The feeling of always being overshadowed by Odin’s true son, Thor. Right on top of it is his memory of the last time, when he was ruler of Asgard for a short time. He had reached his goal, only to lose everything. Put a certain dose of delusions de grandeur on top of it, add his view of humans as a weak race that needs to be dominated, and top it off with his cesspit of a mind. This is a villain I just love to watch doing his thing, even though I agree with Phil that he’s destined to fail. Loki dominates every room he’s in, even if it’s a cell. He has the self-assurance of a true god of Asgard, even though he’s not technically one of them (in the Marvel universe, at least). He can be charming, but can turn around and become harsh and abusive in the span of a short conversation. He knows no scruples, yet he’s not ‘bad to the bone,’ either. He might lack conviction, but he surely isn’t going to let that stop him.

What else has Avengers got?

Humour. Another thing I want from a movie, especially one with a lot of action. There are loads of great one-liners and funny conversations in it. The script writers have shown a great instinct for timing and punch lines in the movie. (I personally love the scene where Thor tells Loki to listen before being tackles by Ironman and Loki watches them move away and says “I’m listening.” … bad timing for an attack, but great timing for a gag.)

Good effects. The movie is balancing out the ‘futuristic to sci-fi’ with the ‘realistic’ quite well. The Helicarrier looks almost plausible (the sort that might be plausible in 10 or 20 or 50 years). The weapons aren’t over the top, even though they are that step ahead of ‘what we’ve got.’

Better looks. Compared to former versions of the main characters, the current ones have a lot more style. Not as close to the comics in some cases, maybe, but much better for the big screen.

Effects and looks together make the movie more believable, which is important for movies based on comics. Comics never survive a 1:1 conversion. What works when drawn on paper doesn’t necessarily work on the screen as well. Take your usual superhero outfits, without some alterations, only very few of them work. Or take technology, it needs to look realistic, even if it’s not. 2D to 3D (even if the movie isn’t 3D, every prop in it is) does have its problems.

Overall, I enjoyed Avengers a lot. I liked the story, the well-choreographed action, the looks. It’s a keeper for my collection, that much is for sure.

Weekend Update

Another nice, sunny Saturday morning and another weekend update. On my plan for this weekend:

• DVD to watch: as I’m still not finished “Star Wars: The Clone Wars” CGI season 1
• Book to read: “Stolen”, the first MFC mystery novel
• Game to play: “Robin’s Quest”

Plus: Enjoying the sun, relaxing, writing and whatever…