Saturday, January 31, 2009

It comes and goes

I might have lost my friend Heike again. I’m not completely sure, but there are certain signs. Which signs?

Well, since the start of the year, I have hardly had any news from her. At first, I was not surprised, because she had just started a new job and I know it’s hard when you start a new job in a call centre. But 3 short messages in a month (last year it was the average of 5 messages a week) isn’t much. She’s commuting by train and in Germany that means quite some spare time before and after work.

Two out of the 3 short messages I’ve had were, in addition, merely written to tell me I couldn’t phone her during the weekend, because she were on tour with her boyfriend. While I certainly do not begrudge her the time with him - during her last job, they didn’t have much time for each other -, I do not really buy she doesn’t have at least 15 or 20 minutes for a phone call.

It’s been a year since we had contact again (after about a year without it) and it seems to be over again. It hurts, it really does, especially as she’s my only close friend. (I’m not the type with oodles of friends, anyway, and we’ve been friends since we were 12 or so.) On the other hand, I’m not stupid or dependent enough to cling to this connection when she quite obviously has no interest in it any longer.

So I’ve written her an email, stating that I will not continue to bother her with my messages if she doesn’t want any contact. I’ve also told her that my address, phone numbers and email-address will stay the same for quite some time (I’ve had each of them for at least 4 years now). If she wants contact again, she knows how to reach me.

Am I too sensitive about this? I don’t think so. There’s no point in clinging to a connection the other side has lost interest in. It’s better to take the pain now and cut off the connection than to stay connected and feel the pain every time my messages are not answered.

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