Femdom? Not sure...

As I've been reading a lot of Femdom-blogs lately, I have started thinking about my own approach on the whole relationship between men and women. Could I be a Femdom and not know it?

I'd probably be the first to admit that I'm not terribly experienced when it comes to relationships (I'm a loner and I don't long much for relationships). But even when I was a teenager and - like every teenager - dreaming of having a lover, I hardly managed to get the whole "being rescued by Prince Charming" thing right.

I don't like to become passive, to submit and let other people take care of my life ... especially of my love-life. I don't like to stand somewhere blushing nicely when a good-looking guy talks to me (and I've hardly felt that tongue-tied feeling when forced to talk to boys during my teens). I don't like waiting for someone to make a move on me. I always thought that, as a modern woman, I was entitled to introduce myself to another person (male or female) on my own.

So the whole fairy tale world of the handsome prince appearing to rescue the fair maiden doesn't appeal much to me. What's in it for the maiden, anyway? Being the nice, little wife while a stranger from another country will rule the country she's grown up in? Good-looking or not, that's not what I want from life ... or from a relationship. I can support myself (and, as I've written in the last post, don't want children anyway) and I don't feel bad when being alone, so why should I put up with a man who will treat me like a trophy or like a possession?

Sometimes I think I don't feel like prey, but like a predator. I don't want to be conquered, I want to conquer myself. But does that make me a dom? I'm not much of a sadist (though that greatly depends on the person I'm facing ... some people make it very easy for me to want to hurt them), at least not in real life. But I like being the one who calls the shots, the one who controls the situation (call me a control-freak, I don't care).

I like to be 'on top', though not necessarily physically. And I can understand doms like Bitchy Jones pointing out that the dom should get something out of dominating the sub. Yes, if I'm calling the shots, there's nothing to be said against being the one on her back while I'm getting what I want ... satisfaction. A slave is supposed to serve and the master (or mistress, it's just a label anyway) is supposed to be served. And I like to be comfortable while being served (I'm a lazy bitch anyway).

So, am I a dom? If I were, I'd be a Femdom, naturally, I'm a woman, after all. I can't say and currently I can't experiment around to find out (no relationship). But I think I will keep in mind one thing from those blogs:

Being a dom doesn't mean being a dominatrix (which is good, because I surely would look ridiculous in a tight latex dress). Any woman can be a dom, if she wants to.